IDK HOW TO REST LIKE AKA I DON'T BREATHE VERY WELL // i'm on holiday (#totallyambritish) + PRETTY PICS

I'm getting older. I admit it bc it's truth, right? and it feels like as every second passes by, I'm speeding along with it, unable to keep my head very high above the water (jsyk there will probably be a lot of water metaphors in this post #beeninthelakeallday) I want the best of each moment. I want to live and live and live without burning out (oh and fire metaphors #campfire) but here is the deal 


bc i get tired and grumpy and exhausted and last night I slept for 9 hours straight. Guys, that was the most I've had don't even know how long. the fact is, I don't know how to rest, relax..chill. at all. 

Right now, I'm on a spontaneous holiday. *grins at shelby* legit, not even two full days to plan for a week away in a cabin on the lake so ya know, we threw some bags together and left. Just like that. and my mind was screaming WHAAAAAAT HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN bc I plan things. I have a massive to-do list. I work all day and then cram things I want to do at night and it's this good for me? probably not????? *sits quietly and blinks* 

so what do I do? I DO IT EVERY DAY. 

I was sitting in the dock tonight just sitting - I was thinking about how often I am quiet and legit how rare that is. (i have problems talking ok?) Quiet hurts. We all know's a strange mixture of nothing and volumes of loudness. I admit it. I don't like it really...which is why I just go and go until I can't anymore. but, I need to stop that. from what I've heard, resting is pretty nice.

tomorrow is the solar eclipse. I must admit, I find it kinda scary. I don't think I'll be looking at it...I saw an article of an guy who has permanent damage in his eye since the solar eclipse in 1962. no thanks, lol.

Right now, my family is watching the old Ma and Pa Kettle episodes. They are wonderful and make me laugh. My hair is wet bc sarah and I went out on paddle boards at dark to watch the rest of the sunset and my face is sunburnt. I'm full with s'mores and hamburgers and laughs. It's beautiful to learn how to rest. 

I'm going to end this post short for today. I think it seems right, don't you? perhaps we all need to relax for a bit. It's surprising how lovely it is to sit and stare into the middle of nowhere for once. (except I can't help but think about my garden at home lol) 

also. packing is weird. You pack a billion things then just end up wearing the same few items over and over again. I need to learn the tricks. help? + what's your favorite photo???



I was looking through my phone notes and there was legit this ; 

I burst out laughing and then was like "okay this actually deserves to be a post " so here we are. so like WHAT IS IT?! Generally, there are two different ways of spelling favorite or favourite or grey vs gray or neighbor or neighbour but these are like bc of the British or Canadian English versions.

Donut or Doughnut? Nope. They are just...well...two ways of spelling the same word everywhere. They both are even considered incorrect by spellcheck. It's quite literally a word which you get to D E C I D E  how you want to spell it *grins* 

also I guess there is a lot of disruption over which way it should be spelled so lets not do that but legit just say how you generally write it XD I can't even remember how I do.... I'm normally a doughnut person tho?? WHICH I AM VERY PROUD TO SAY IS ACTUALLY HOW IT IS TRADITIONALLY DONE HEHEHEE just ask google. 

RANDOM DONUT FACTS *julia spells it the opposite way just to be kind* 

  • julia had a doughnut today (k so that's not really an important fact. roll with it) 
  • the largest donut ever made was an american made jelly donut weighing 1.7 TONS. it was 16 feet in diameter and 16 inches high in the center. OH MY GOODNESS RIGHT
  • canada has more doughnut shops than any other country (sarah said we should move there)
  • June 1st of 2018 will be national doughnut day PREPARE YOURSELF 
  • there are real taco, grilled cheese, and seaweed donuts. 
  • you would need 253,440 doughnuts on a string to reach across the grand canyon 
  • and only 3,660 to reach the top of the statue of liberty 
  • there is something called a cronut which is basically a croissant-doughnut. well. it has 1,330 calories in one. an adult should only eat about 2,400 in a day......................
  • people say that bakeries are never robbed bc the police officers hang around so often 
  • Entenmann’s bakery turns out 100,000 doughnuts every hour, 15 million every week, 780 million every year

I'm not quite sure how I'm supposed to walk around now after finding these facts out. WHO KNEW DONUTS COULD BE SO WEIRD?!?!? I mean. gosh. but let's admit it. they. are. so. good. *moans cuz i want more* 

so yesterday marked 1 entire year of my poetry blog's existence. THAT MEANS ITS BASICALLY A BIRTHDAY PARTY SO *gives everyone doughnuts* also yesterday I posted my 1 0 0 T H  POEM NOT EVEN JOKING. can I say I'm proud of myself? I mean...yeah that's vainly weird but it's also honest. I didn't really ever think of myself as a poet and now I'm slightly unable to stop?? SO YES VOLUME 2 OF MY POEMS ARE IN PROGRESS EEEP. 

also idk what my obsession with sky photos is. sorry... guess you're stuck with them. 

p.s. i wrote this post at midnight sunday night....then scheduled it for 6 am the next day. WELL GOSH OH GOLLY JULIA IS DUMB BC SHE FORGOT THAT WHEN MIDNIGHT HAPPENS A NEW DAY DOES TOO. so here i am, posting this after working all morning. you're welcome


NIGHTTIME SKY LOVE + what do you do when you are scared out of your wits?? // #thoughtsoftheju

I just cleaned my laptop screen for the first time since purchasing it and HEY GUYS? ITS PRETTY AMAZING. go clean your laptop. I'm sure it needs it. *becomes human who obsessively removes smudges now* ahem. But, let's move onto more important topics. Like  f e a r 


a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc, whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

I'm actually kinda curious here. I almost don't want to make this a post filled with advice and stuffs...but hahah lets face it. It'll probably turn out that way. I would really like you to ask yourself before you read any further one question though. Write down the answer in the comment box if you want...but here it is - WHAT ARE YOU SCARED OF????? 

Because admit it. There is a lot to be scared about today. like

  • what we are eating/whats in it/what happened to it/where it came from/how it was made
  • that time is slipping away and it'll never come back
  • government. (not going any further but ikr) 
  • going back to school or leaving for college (PLUS ALSO TAKING A GAP YEAR. thats scary too k)
  • walking into walmart. am i the only one? 
  • the dark (wait is that just me?..... jk jk jk *nervous chuckle*)
  • meeting new people #introvert
  • THAT BIG THING CALLED CHANGE *runs away in utter fear*
  • not being able to find those two dumb pennies at the cash register AND THERE IS A LINE

That's hardly even a list. It took me a few seconds to compile that. We are humans and GOODNESS we have fears. It's natural. Now here is the second question I want you to answer... WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU ARE SCARED? 

  • run away in fear?
  • face it and yell for it to go away?
  • learn to not be scared anymore? 
  • flop onto your bed and scroll on pinterest? 

Don't be scared to be honest here. I've done them all. there have been days where fear takes me a hold so strong. There is a legit thing called the fight or flight reaction. IT IS REAL. I've experienced it. I never really thought I would be the type of person who would run when afraid...but yup. And, fighting? I've done that as well. 

there is just one thing. I get so beat down sometimes and its like "that's it. this is the end." #dramatic BUT TRUTH YA KNOW. It isn't just me who feels this way. i know it. So....what do I do? 

I do it again. and again. and again. which is basically failure....another one I should have added up on that list blah. But, being afraid is a trap. Listen to what God has to say about fear.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name. You are mine. (Isaiah 43:1)
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2nd Timothy 1:7) 

There is truth in these words. And, strength. We've got power in Christ to shake away from fears which holds on tight. You can hold onto only one thing, I'm afraid. I've seen it in myself.

F E A R S  V S  C O U R A G E  

I believe I would find it hard to grasp if you told me you enjoy being afraid...bc nobody does, k? Let's be real with each other. GUYS WE DONT HAVE TO BE AFRAID. JESUS HAS SET US FREE. Don't hold onto fear when you can hold onto something so much better with so many more exciting things ahead. Let's beat the things which have a grip on us. 

plus. There are only so many days left. Live them full. 

btw. here is another things I'm terrified about. I SENT MY BOOK OUT TO ALPHA READERS PRAY FOR ME. 

WHAT DID YOU DO THIS WEDNESDAY?(whoops its thursday now?)


I absolutely love camping. Like roughing it would totally be my thing but I live in a family of mainly planners, so its kinda like you get out there in the forest (i mean campground) and its like "okay I somehow have to flip this pancake" *goes to look for stick* *sister runs up with metal spatula* LEGIT. oh well. someday I can camp like Miss Meg does. SRSLY GIRL YOU LIVE THE COOLEST LIFE. 

but still. It was the best. I ACTUALLY READ 80 PAGES OF A BOOK IN ONE SITTING I DONT EVEN KNOW THE LAST TIME I DID THAT gooooosshh. like I said -- amazing. I also ate a few hotdogs and a lot of marshmallows + I got to stargaze under a sky full of the most amazing sparkling holes i've ever seen. 

sarah + me in camper : *both have soda cans* *me put mine down and goes back to reading* *sarah is reading and picks up soda can* *.3 seconds after slurp* 

We also went hiking. We've been to this park loads of times before but never have been on this part of the trail before. GUYS. IT. WAS. AMAZING. like the elevation was spectacular. *dies at the photos which i didn't include* It's crazy to realize there are so many little hidden spots never seen before ONLY MOMENTS AWAY HOW EVEN. 

also lets all acknowledge the fact that it is now August. *runs away crying* 

But truthfully, camping was in part stressful because it was during the last weekend before NaNo ending and I still had 3k to write, which let's admit it, THAT IS STRESSFUL. I ended up getting back home to an incredibly torn apart bedroom (i had to re-paint my bedroom floor #longstory) and just plopping down on my bed to publish comments. Then, I heard a ding from hangouts and saw Savannah asking for a word war. I typed "I can't right now..but maybe later because I have to leave in 10 minutes." then erased that and was like JULIA JUST DO IT YOU'VE GOT 10 MINUTES. 

Before I knew it, I was writing super fast and had met my goal + went 500 words over within 1 1/2 hours. *is still blown away* so yes. I AM A 2017 JULY CAMP NANO WINNER. *fist bumps* 

I guess that was just one of those times that moved me to realize that I have to stop telling myself that I CANT do something when geesh, I CAN. same goes for you, k. 

It's like 66 degrees and I think it is the 4th of August? Not sure. #summerliving (also deep apologizes for all of you who are going back to school very, very soon. I almost wish I were joining you...)

I'm off for an adventure of nerf library fun. Not sure if I get to play or have to walk around supervising -- either way, I'll have fun. 


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