WHY I'M THANKFUL TO BE THANKFUL (2017) // i'm really tired but actually really happy + APPLE PIES MMMM


people tell me often "it's been one of THOSE years." I nod as if I 100% agree and then again....I don't. bc uhm i just can't possibly grasp it. I'd like to say its been one of THOSE years for me..but in a good way. I've learned SO much. 

  • about stress
  • and people
  • jobs  + job interviews 
  • fears 
  • money management/savings 
  • herbs (BC EEP I LOVE THOSE) 

like ya know, a billion +2 more as well. The list can't possibly be long enough. and here I am, thankful to be thankful. I am such a selfish person and feel like I forget to thank God. That's one of the things I'm learning about me in 2017. 


I saw this yesterday. read it <3


If God Should Go On Strike

How good it is that God above has never gone on strike,
Because He was not treated fair in things He didn’t like.
If only once, He’d given up and said, 

“That’s it. I’m through.
I’ve had enough of those on Earth so this is what I’ll do:
I’ll give my orders to the sun cut off the heat supply!
And to the moon–give no more light, and run the oceans dry.
Then to make things really tough and put the pressure on,
Turn off all the vital oxygen till every breath is gone!”

You know He would be justified if fairness was the game,
For no one has been more abused or met with more disdain
Then God, and yet He carries on, supplying you and me
With all the favors of His grace,  and everything for free.
Men say they want a better deal, and so on strike they go,
But what a deal we’ve given God to whom all things we owe
.
We don’t care whom we hurt to gain the things we like;
But what a mess we’d all be in if God should go on strike.
                       
 — Walt Huntley


SO MUCH TRUTH IN THOSE WORDS YA KNOW. I found a lot of conviction in it but also beauty! LIKE OMW LOOK AT THE GIFTS HE HAS GIVEN US AND HIS GRACE AND LOVE AND like air <3 I had to write it down bc like.. I don't want to lose that smack of true importance.

last weekend my sisters and I ran a craft booth. it was crazy. it was stressful. it was exhausting. but tbh it was really cool. that word sounds so lame in comparison..but still. I met some FANTASTIC humans. Random people..strangers whom I'll probably never talk to again but in the moment that we did - we connected! I really really loved that. 

and so, I'm thankful for that. Even in the stress, there was a gift! 


there have been a lot of gift exchanges going around. Even a Bible verse "chain letter" WHICH OMW IS BEAUTIFUL. I haven't had the time to participate in either...but I love that it's a thing. A lady I spoke to this week told me that society as a whole should be sad and broken at what it has become. I did that nodding thing again. but deep down, I was writing this poem. bc right now, this is what I can do. 

humanity is broken. That's why Jesus came. I'm thankful. <3

so yes. This is my thanksgiving post..this is my two cents about living and about growing. to me, I am thankful for where I've come from and where I'm going. cuz I keep waking up. I keep making it safely to work and back home again. I'm laughing and breathing and running with love. I'm living. 

BTW I MADE TWO APPLE PIES YESTERDAY AND A HUGE ONE TODAY I AM SO READY FOR MY 20 POUNDS OF MASHED POTATOES TOMORROW HBU?!?!?! 

btw btw go scream happy birthday to my dear little sis Sarah XD XD 

WHAT ARE YOU THANKFUL FOR ???? 
FAVORITE THANKSGIVING TRADITION/FOOD? 

WHAT REALLY IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY????? // thoughts as I drive to work (shh take a writing break. YOU NEED IT)


I tend to say its a beautiful day when I think it is. As in, whatever I describe as beauty.

I realized today how wrong that actually is of me. I don't walk around singing "ITS A BEAUTIFUL DAY" when I don't feel like it is.

that's totally not how I thought of myself until about 20 minutes ago. I was driving to work and saw my sunglasses. I was like
"oh man. It hasn't been sunny enough to use those. I miss the beautiful days"

.....................................................................

WAIT WHAT IN THE WORLD JULIA WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR LITTLE BRAIN?!?!


God created today. He made it beautiful. gee. IM ALIVE I THINK THAT SHOULD MAKE IT NICE ENOUGH. (jsyk i'm yelling at myself here k thx)
but bc it was gloomy and bc I felt like just staying home + reading instead of going into work. bc I felt like it wasn't beautiful yet. 

and then, when I got to my driving destination, I had one of my friends stop me to chat. that's beautiful.
I got to hear a little girl reading aloud (legit it was like her voice was filling the library) #beauty
laughter happened and my favorite songs came on the radio. my little siblings hugged me when I came home. I'd call that beautiful 

also this from Jessica's comment on my last post SRSLY GIRL THAT MADE ME SO HAPPY <3





so I guess I'm learning that a beautiful day doesn't depend on how I'm feeling or how I'm viewing the world that day. It's raining right now. That is beautiful too. I just haven't always been open about seeing that..

UPDATE 2 DAYS LATER :::: 

I drove into work today and it was sunny so I put my sunglasses on but they were all smudged. not what I was expecting. (am I going too deep in the metaphor of my sunglasses?? #sorry) 

+ chatting with my bestie on the phone for 2 hours is gold.


oh and wow. all the questions you guys sent me!! I'm thinking up ideas of exactly what I want to do with them. I have a few creative things rolling around *grins* 

ONE MORE THING. Siri just informed me that Christmas is in 40 days. I have a few gifts bought but LOL TIME IS FLLLLLLLLLYING BY. hbu?!?!?

k. I HOPE NANO IS GOING WELL FOR YOU. I bet that you're killing those stories and I'M SO PROUD OF YOU FOR THAT. keep going !!! <3


WHAT MAKES A DAY BEAUTIFUL FOR YOU ????? 
HAVE YOU STARTED CHRISTMAS SHOPPING? 


WHAT I'M THINKING ABOUT + DEALING WITH RIGHT NOW // and yes, I'm actually listening to christmas music now


I get terrified about tomorrow's. in the sense of not knowing what will happen. Or when change does occur, I get thrown off balance. With the recent time change (also the fact that I keep on forgetting to change my clock in my car LOL) I feel soooo messed up. Like, I went to work the other day and LEGIT I FELT LIKE I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. I was freaking out bc "wait. this isn't my shift? did I just clock in saying that it was 3 when it's really 4? or...IS IT 4 AND NOT 3?!?!?!" 

my face obviously showed my concern bc one of my friends was like "Julia what's wrong?"
BUT TO BE FAIR THEY STILL HAVEN'T CHANGED THE BIG CLOCK AT THE LIBRARY. it's totally messing with me.

but seeeeeeeeeeeeee. My world can get shaken that randomly. and well. I HATE IT.
(aka i really need to figure out that clock thing)

me every time i walk in at the library to see the clock still hasn't changed but i desperately need it to be done 

So, two days ago was our official last day of the farming year at the CSA. it was a HARD day. I worked 11 hours between there and the library so I didn't have much time for emotional thoughts. but man, now they're sinking in. and add to the fact it snowed yesterday (thankfully it melted omw.)

I'm SUPER excited to have a little more time for creative stuff tho! And, since my sister's + I are doing the Christmas event again this year, that time won't open up until after thanksgiving. THEN HELLO HOLIDAY SEASON. (yes. I have conformed. My record player is full force Bing Crosby)

then again, I've got a cold. I think I'll just blame it on the grimy kids books I shelve. *shudders*
ORRR maybe it was from last week when one of my co-workers car battery was dead and we stood out in the dark/rain jumping her car lol

(THANKS DAD FOR MAKING SURE I HAD THOSE JUMPER CABLES + HOW TO USE THEM)


but bc of said cold I'm enjoying my peppermint tea again. oh, how I love my peppermint tea. 
and my mom asked my to make a christmas list. In my entire life, I've never actually made one of those FOR REALS. I'm more like the "just give me the thing I didn't know I wanted" person.

I genuinely miss summer. the warmth. the swimming. barefoot-ness (I ran to the garage today when it was 9 degrees. not recommended)
yet I'm genuinely intrigued to see what is coming next.

also. I have come to realize how book addicted I am. *grins at multiple growing stacks on desk + bed + book shelves + night-tables*

One last thing. I'd like to ask you a favor. ask me a sad or happy or funny or sporadic or silly or serious or -------- question. 
I am curious to see how many of these things I can answer in either a blogpost or Q+A. AND IF YOU'RE COOL WITH ME USING YOUR NAME/BLOG LINK LET ME KNOW BC THAT'D BE GRAND

welllllll - I best be going. I am heading to work soon. it's only my second saturday shift ever. I don't think I can complain about that. *waves* 

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT OR DEALING WITH???
WILL YOU ASK ME A QUESTION PLEASE?? thx

A LIST OF MY FAVORITE THINGS + FAVE MOVIE GIFS // also i'm actually not even close to writing yet help


me: OH MAN LOOK AT THE SKY.
me: OH MAN I CAN'T PICK A FAVE
me: oh well I guess I'll just have to use them all
sarah: DUDE THREE SKY PHOTOS?!?!?!?
me: ...........................

in the spirit of my last post about my negative feelings, I thought it'd be fun to do a list of my FAVORITE things.

#1 : THE SUNSHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ask my family. if the sky is blue, IM OUTSIDE AND HAPPY (and probably taking pictures of the sky lollololololololol)

me whenever the sun is shining. 

#2 : happy little words. (also letter stamp sets + washi tape) poetry. books. ice cream. jazz. snail mail. fresh air. dirt. growing things. summer. but also christmas. my bedroom. updating my blogs. ice cream. mary poppins. randomness. clean closet. crackly records. sleeping in. wondrous ink pens. 

#3 : the fact that Sarah and I have been able to spend 89 1/2 % of this summer/fall together. like. legit I went to the store one day with my older sister and I started looking for Sarah and then remembered "oh yeah. she stayed home."
we're kinda attached to each other (BTW HER BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP ANNNND SHE JUST SHOWED ME THIS FANTASTIC POST GOING LIVE IN A FEW DAYS. #totallyrelatable and man totally jealous of her skills)

SOME OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES : 

  • dick van dyke show
  • fiddler on the roof
  • the finest hours
  • mary poppins
  • pete's dragon (the new one) 
  • sarah, plain, and tall 
  • anne of green gables
  • sound of music
  • good old disney robin hood



so. it's the 5th of November. And, my goal is to write 5 short stories throughout this month for NaNo. I SO BADLY WANNA STICK TO THAT. and so far... I haven't even started. The next two weeks look insane (aka working every day (even saturday *sobs*) + craft show booth event thingy) BUT LOL ITS OKAY I GOT THIS 

ALSO I REALLY LOVE THIS GIF IT JUST MAKES ME SO HAPPY


WELL GEE. it's almost midnight. *gasps* this time change is....interesting. I woke up this morning like 

"mom. I'm confused. is it really 9:48 or..."

tbh. DO WE EVER REALLY KNOW??!?!??! *ponders this* also. heheheee. I get to go to the dentist tomorrow. I'll keep you updated.  

GIMME A LIST OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS
HOWS NANO GOING / OR THOUGHTS ON TIME CHANGE

BE INSPIRATIONAL // photo diary of julia ryan the csa farmer just in case you were interested

so it wouldn't stop raining so we had to keep draining the water out lol

hello all you creative humans out there! NANO HAS OFFICIALLY STARTED and well let me guess 2% of you actually feel like you're prepared for a month of writing 50k and the rest of you are like

HEEEEEELLLPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEE 

so I guess this post is dedicated to the 98% of the unprepared population bc bro I GET YOU. 

I was driving along to work the other day when I heard in my super odd head "be inspirational". I was like DUDE THATS BEAUTIFUL. so many times I see "how to be inspirational" or whatever but tbh I really like BE INSPIRATIONAL. It's really soft and gentle and loving. like inspiration should be. 

Instead of loading you with songs and pinterest images and even Bible verses to uplift you, I'm going to tell you about my struggles. but tbh Matthew West's BROKEN THINGS is really really really inspirational. 

I'm asking YOU to be inspirational -- with me of course. I guess I'm getting sick of my own negative attitude. 


like..here, let me show you. 

  • gas prices are too high
  • i don't like snow
  • my alarm went off too early (tho this is perfectly justified right) 
  • I DON'T HAVE SPOTIFY PREMIUM ANYMORE
  • my laptop is dying 
  • i just want summer back 
  • my bestie is too far away
  • bad hair day (aka always) 
  • i don't have time to be creative 
  • i don't have time
  • sugar is bad for you but tastes so good
  • I'M STILL WAITING FOR MY BOOK TO COME IN AT THE LIBRARY
  • yadayadayadayada

I MEAN IT JUST KEEPS GOING.  And, sometimes, it gets to the point where I feel like I'm so lost in it that I am legit lost. like uhm hello I don't think this is good. 

Negativeness drowns you. (speaking from experience) Positive thinking is a big deal. like 

  • my mom made homemade bread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • my headphones are working 
  • WATER IS BEAUTIFUL 
  • my co-workers are pretty great
  • music is golden 
  • sleep <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
  • ALL 169 OF YOU FANTASTIC PEOPLE + 4 YEARS BLOGGING LIKE YAY 
  • my bestie and I text + talk on the phone all the time
  • ice cream is still in the freezer 

And, well, yeah. It's a mentality that you have to learn how to keep going. and going and going and going and going. forever. so here is where I'm at. Be inspirational means a lot to me now. It goes deeper than just the words we speak but much more the smile we carry. I tend to laugh a lot but I also tend to grump a lot. I guess I need to make the 1st overcome the 2nd. It's ok. I'm still learning. 

BTW in case you were wondering, these photos were from like 2 weeks ago when it was actually warm. *sigh* BUT I NEED TO BE INSPIRATIONAL SO LOOK OUT WORLD JULIA IS GOING TO TRY TO LIKE THE SNOW AND TRY TO BE HAPPY THAT MY ALARM CLOCK IS RINGING (k lets be honest that one will be hard) AND WELL ABOUT GAS PRICES HA YEAH SORRY imma going to be negative about that one forever. blah. 

me driving along and seeing gas prices climbing

but *grins* can you believe it NOVEMBER IS ACTUALLY HERE. WOW. fast, huh? Enjoy each second friends. 

*runs off to idk like sleep or read* 

p.s this is my 300th post 

WHAT DOES BE INSPIRATIONAL MEAN TO YOU? 
NAME ONE NEGATIVE THING AND ONE POSITIVE
ALSO WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING RN 



I'VE BEEN BLOGGING FOR 4 YEARS WAHT // october monthly post + THIS IS MY 299TH POST WHAAAAAT #almostcool


K SO THEY AWESOME :
- me to little sis " your face is messy!"
- little sis goes away then comes back with clean face "I don't see anything *giggles* "
- me " *gasp* tell me your secret! "
- little sister  "well magicians never tell their secrets "

At ladies retreat 

- me "it's raining"
- lady "that's okay. I brought my life jacket. I mean....umbrella."

"Why don't you just read a book?" - me
"I'll get car sick!" - bro
"We aren't driving." - me
"I'll still get car sick" - bro




- little sis "what are you doing in mom's room?"
- me "Uhm "
- sis "you don't have a reason do you?"

AT DENTIST
- little sis "what did you get from the dentist??"
- me "a toothbrush and toothpaste and floss. But no stickers *fake cries*"
- little sis *looks around nervously* stop it! You can have mine!"
- me *laughs*


"I'm a carrot monster! Isn't that a good monster to be??" - sis

"Jula isn't bossy!!" - little sis


MY LIFE IS LIKE :



LIKE I ACTUALLY BOUGHT MY CAR AHHHHHHHHHH

so this lady left her planner at the library and I had to run to catch up to her and she was like "oh thanks. I could have gotten it tomorrow tho. I'm always here " like ok

totally didn't try for 10 minutes to make the food processor work to find out I was using it backwards

It's organic guys




I called Sarah's phone forgetting she was in drivers ed class *nervous laugh*

I was at Goodwill, trying on a sweater by one of those mirrors and I hear this lady say "nope" and tbh I thought she was talking to a friend or something. Then I turn around and she looks at me and is like "I mean it. It's not doing anything good for you."
I had never spoken to her before. Like????
so guess what I did? I bought the sweater. 
*hair toss*


- sare "omw I just realized I'm going to have to park after I drive. Never mind."

I SAT IN THIS IM HOPING ITS RAIN WATER 



I lived through Friday, the 13th. (tho now that I think about it...I did have problems parking all day..)



*COUGHCOUGH* :



DO NOT FREEZE THE LADY BUGS




totally wasn't sitting on the couch and then a moth flew into my nose? I think Motho's cousin is seeking revenge

-me on phone with bestie "it was so philisophical"
- her "you mean philosophical"

k so like I found 29 dvds in the cd area at the library??? Some kid had fun blah




so forget the fact that Sarah and I are playing American girl games BUT LOOK SHE BEAT ME BY 500 POINTS WHAT

so I dreamed that Alton Brown (GoodEats) and Chip + Joanna Gaines came to my house...??

christmas is in the distance (actually 59 days to be exact what) 



picked 825 jalapeƱo peppers with sare no joke


why does it say mexico 



Tv : "flying kites is simple!"
Me : "did it just say sinful???"
Sare : "julia. Simple."
Me : "oh"


uhm


Older sis "BTW don't put your chips in a baggy with your sandwich"
Me "why"
Her "CUZ THEY COMES OUT SOGGY"

totally didn't poke myself in the eye with my towel lol



BIRTHDAY SPEECH FOR MY BLOG : 

well geesh. I've been doing this thing for 4 years now? TBH it feels like a lot longer but MAN. I've loved every single second of it.

SO

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LITTLE BLOG. you're growing up *sniff* 



there.  that wasn't too long, was it?

p.s. I just totally updated my about me page. ENJOY

SO DO I NEED TO CHANGE ANYTHING ON MY BLOG??? 
FAVORITE POST SINCE YOU'VE BEEN FOLLOWING? 

I NEED SHORT STORY PROMPT IDEAS PLEAAAASEEEE // trying to do nanowrimo + randomest comment on my blog ever


so tbh I really miss writing. like a lot. it's become this thing where I get an idea...but don't have time to do anything with it. at work the other day, I legit had to grab a scrap piece of paper and pen...then i rapidly jammed a poem out. I stuffed the piece of paper in my back pocket. I'm sick of jamming my ideas in my back pocket. 

but then, I hit that wall of HAHAHAHA YOU THINK YOU GOT TIME TO WRITE 50K IN NOVEMBER?? 

and then I'm like DUDE YEAH WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO TELL ME I CAN'T
and well, tbh, even if I think I can -- and even if I really DID do it I think I'd regret it in the end. bc I'm not sure if I'm willing to spend that much time on a project just yet. I feel like I've been working all summer (NOT COMPLAINING) and I'm ready for winter hibernation. just not ready for the "stress" of writing. I kinda want to try enjoying the holiday season this year

P.S SOMETHING IS WRONG MY LITTLE SISTER IS ALREADY LISTENING TO CHRISTMAS MUSIC IS THIS OK? 




and now that I'm done rambling, I'd just like to ask for some help -- bc I WANNA WRITE still. and brrrrrooo I llloooovvee *squeals* writing short stories. They're more like lengthed poems cuz they only are about 2k long BUT HEHE THEY ARE ABOUT AS NUTTY AS ME like ;


  • "the sneeze heard around the world" was the title of one short story (don't ask)
  • or this snippet from my weirdest of all 

it took a second for my laptop to process the CD, but then, I heard it. It was my voice. MY VOICE. I think it took me a second to realize that the CD was even playing.  “Hello,” I said or? “It’s time you knew the truth...I’m the real you.” Quickly, I slapped my hand down and paused the CD from going further.

I was inspired for a few of those from short story prompts I saw on pinterest........ SO HERE IS WHERE YOU COME IN. I'd love to write 1 short story a week during NaNoWriMo -- just to stretch my writing skills, to enjoy some creativity and grow my short story collection. I'd loooove it if you guys shot me a few story prompts!! I don't care if you made them up, or if you "stole" it off pinterest! Just please keep them clean and not gory thx 

annnnnnd maybe if I'm feeling super crazy I'll share them with ya if you want? *cringes forevermore*

btw yesterday I got the most randomest (NEW WORD FOLKS RUN WITH IT)  comment I've ever gotten on my poetry blog ever. not sure how to respond? It's really sweet -- I just don't know who wrote it? So, Anonymous, I'm glad you wanted to share that with me!



so basically this is my plea. thank you for listening. today I slept in until noon and then we had a campfire this evening with s'mores and sparklers. life's pretty. eh? 

also are you doing nanowrimo LIKE THE LEGIT ONE WITH 50,000 WORDS ??!?!?!??!?! if so. my hat is off to you and I'm going to spend all my life's savings on ice cream + pizza to give you. cuz wow. you're amazing go you 

A SHORT STORY PROMPT PLEASE ????
MOST RANDOMEST COMMENT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED ??? 
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